Why I hate Movember

Spread across various websites; I see mentions of Movember. There is an occasional news mention and I even have a few people close to me that tout it. The irony is that I can’t stand it. I now give you the “skinny”.

Although I may seem petty with this; I don’t like seeing astro cuck websites encourage their soft handed readers embracing it. Half of these men embrace fatherhood as a hobby and the rest use it as some limp wristed virtue signaling operation. These men sugar coat that the cancers and illnesses highlighted during this month are actually killing men. To them; it is an opportunity to take a selfie with their lame ass peach fuzz growth. And why I’m at:

I think a decent cross section of you guys are p*ssies. Yep, you made me drop the p-bomb. Some of you can’t grow a half ass mustache to begin with but you find every reason to chicken out from keeping a decent lip brush. You office dwelling types, 10 key warriors, and after lunch sleepers won’t push your company to change your conduct standards where you can actually have facial hair. You grovel happily that you get a whole month to show someone your smutstache. (Fire fighters and refinery/chemical workers are off the hook due to respirator usage). I happily rock my horseshoe, much to the chagrin of the admin crew/alphabet boys. I found a reason to fight for it.

I hate “months”. I hate awareness. I can’t let everyone off the hook for (x) month. I sure as hell won’t forget one of my least favorite, that month that never stops, the one where we browbeat/emotionally blackmail people into wearing pink. We overlook certain diseases that kill specific portions of our population. You can’t get anyone in various companies to give a peep about prostate cancer, although it was hugely prevalent in one of my prior workplaces. (But it was ironic that HR/admin types wouldn’t admit that the breast cancer awareness shove fest was tone deaf). I don’t want to torture women with prostate cancer awareness, they could always counter with “WHADDABOUT BREAST CANCER???”.

I couldn’t care about including everyone. Men have their own challenges and diseases. I am still trying to figure out why feminists were squabbling about Movember. Lip fuzz jokes aside, was it that big of a deal that we take a brief timeout from the emotional world of women’s issues to focus on things that affect men? I am starting to think that a table of “intersectionals” got together and created Movember just so they could get mad about it, highlighting it within the frame of Victim Olympics tryouts. It was a convenient idea considering that only a few of them could grow a decent mustache and that very few of them would ever have the right to suffer from prostate cancer. Damn, this went south quickly.

Although you have every right to tell me how much of a killjoy I am; I want to tell you that you can be aware of prostate cancer and health issues every month this year. You sure as hell could sack up and grow a horseshoe mustache. Get back to me when you do and Ill find another “month” to gripe about. Take care and I’ll see you when red ribbon campaign comes back around.


About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
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