Excising Contacts: Wasting My Time

I found myself at a loathsome spot the other day. I had sent out a text to friends and a few close co-workers, trying to get a group of people together to watch “the fights” (MMA, UFC 246).

I had started earlier in the week. That week wasn’t anything special. There wasn’t a college football game to contend with, the Brewfest was a few months off, and the local airport hasn’t flirted with an airshow in a few years. No one planned to run an armored car with a bus full of hookers. Id figure I could find at least two people.

I was wrong. By fault of my own; I had lost a contact for one person who was remarkably unreliable. Another waited until two days before the fights to tell me that he had “family” to deal with. One of the most reliable people I am in contact with went “ghost” altogether. A well meaning coworker mentioned that he had errands and that he was going to be lazy afterward. I could list the others but I won’t. I wasn’t mad but it gave me an idea for productivity’s sake.

I should start clearing and organizing my contacts more often. I need to send those that make a habit of making excuses or not having fortitude to a Dishonorable Mentions list, a separate list not on my phone. (Never mind the people that don’t have the courtesy to send me their new phone numbers).

I think that we all should be excising contacts. People that don’t put in any effort to be part of our lives shouldn’t be lumped in with the one’s that put in effort. I am not talking about walling yourselves off  or creating your own cult. This is not to be malicious but this is the wake up call that you should be re-allocating resources (ie your time).

We throw around the Pareto Principle as a logic gate of sorts or a reason to get rid of time wasting activities but it isn’t a terrible idea. Think of the following questions:

Is someone wasting your time? Do they bring more into your life than they take out? Do they break even at least? Are you holding onto them for nostalgia? Do you secretly hope that they have a future? Do they work towards something? I have been one of those people that put the wrong amount of effort into ineffective people.

It is time to stop putting time into people that don’t try to match it.

You have 24 hrs in a day. Make time for those that count.

Excise the contacts that don’t (and find people that do).


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4 Responses to Excising Contacts: Wasting My Time

  1. Lexet Blog says:

    a general rule of running an organization is that fewer than 10% are dedicated to the mission, and will be reliable.

    Cutting dead weight is hard, especially in a church situation. You cant be friends with everyone, and you cant spend equal time w/ everyone. It seems selfish to evaluate friendships by what another person brings to the table, but the truth is, many will try to pull you down to their level. Find people who you can help, and can help you. And show up to watch the fight.

    Easiest way to do this is to see who initiates conversations with you. If someone doesnt contact you back, and its a pattern, drop them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jack says:

    I did this with my Facebook “friends” list a couple times. People took offense and it caused a negative backlash. But I don’t regret it at all. Apparently, a lot of people wanted to watch my life on FB without going to the trouble to have any real interaction with me.
    There were a few people I deleted who genuinely cared about me. But those people took the effort to send me a message, asking why I deleted them. After I was convinced of the value of retaining them, I simply added those people back to my list.


  3. Boxer says:

    Reblogged this on v5k2c2.com and commented:
    I’m conflicted as to whether our tendency to prune is a symptom of social atomization, or whether it is merely pragmatic. I prune, but only after deliberating carefully. How about you, gentlemen? Visit Matt’s blog and sound off.


  4. Pingback: The Weekly FreeMatt in Review | Free Matt Podcasts

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