The Matters w/ Matt: Re-Answering Self Help Questions

As I have done in this past few weeks; I found a reason to find myself disgusted by advice columns. I laugh and cringe when it comes to old standby’s like Ask Amy and the formerly great Dear Prudence. It is one thing that I secretly believe that a column like Dear Abby has staffers that ghost write many of the letters but it is equally detestable that the advice given is clearly given by someone with a horrifically snowflake slanted position. I think that people, especially men, get terrible advice that will steer them wrong. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses tripe. I always wanted to correct their responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (hat tip to Aaron Clarey @ Asshole Consulting).

 

Consider this gem, originally from Washington Post’s Carolyn Hax column (October 7^th, 2019):

Dear Carolyn: … I have never felt that intensely about my husband and do not love him as much as I have loved exes. I certainly don’t get along with my husband as well as I did with one particular ex. But you know what? The men I did love that way either lied to me, hurt me, “borrowed” money, stood me up, left me with wedding deposits I never got back, made promises they never kept. My husband has never done any of those things. I don’t look at my marriage as a loss. I look at it as though the spouse I really wanted simply doesn’t exist…I dated A LOT. Any man I felt in love with or had strong feelings for did something terrible that involved taking advantage of my feelings. I married the reliable man who isn’t going to swear he’ll attend my friend’s wedding and then no-show. Life isn’t a fairy tale.

— No Fairy Tale

Here is my answer:

Dear Fairy Tale: You are right, life isn’t a fairy tale. And you aren’t exactly Cinderella. Unfortunately, you shade closer to the Evil Stepmother. You are taking out your bad experiences on an unrelated party, i.e. your husband. You need to either go to counseling for your hatred of men or let your husband go. I do not see you adopting healthy behaviors and it will eventually destroy your marriage. (I strongly doubt that your husband will be as happy to be someone’s back up plan). Your attitude about him will easily lead to him being somewhere else. (How does a monogamous sex life work with someone you can’t take serious?) I would suggest that you “glass slipper” your way out of this and be honest to him. Look to change yourself if you think you need to. If not; good luck.

 

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of letters to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at freemattpodcast@gmail.com

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is clueless morons writing in and airing dirty laundry. Till next week.