Completely unrelated to anything politically linked or our trying times; I remembered a interaction with a classmate in high school. “Maria” had always been a very quiet person, as I had been a boisterous and somewhat jovial person that told jokes/gave out bizarre anecdotes.
Maria had always been around in a few of my classes. Participating in group projects and giving input on occasion. She seldom if ever was able to show any level of emotion, often maintaing the same level of “frump” no matter if she was content or upset. (A smart man would gamble that she had a mild case of “Resting Bitch Face”.). Maria was polite and never seemed to stick her nose in anyone’s business. She never made a fuss when a compatriot of mine or I had made a ruckus. She overheard the best and the worst. This is a key detail.
As with any Blue Pill tale of woe; looking back is where we see our errors. I had gotten involved with a classmate of ours; Paulina. We had a moderate amount of time around each other. I never imagined that I had run off the rails. I drew a lot in that class among other classes. I drew whimsical pictures of ants drinking or other scenes. The pictures on occasion would incorporate classmates into them. (Most people I knew drank or at least had tried it before). On occasion, I would show one to Paulina. Long story short; we had been known to flirt with each other. We ended up fairly known to other people. Everything seemed hunky dory. I asked her out to my junior prom.
It was the worst date I ever have been on. She was not very stimulating company. She didnt dance and I felt an increasing level of boredom. Friends around me made odd faces at dinner. I ended up taking her home early.
The following week, I ran into Maria. She had overheard me talking about my disasterous date. Maria actually blurted out at a low volume: “She never seems to be happy”. She later told me more about how much Paulina would talk about me.
(I admit my BP beginnings and the errors I made). The real lessons were when I looked back and missed the red flags:
(1) Paulina had a harpy/maneater of a mom. Ugly relationship at home).
(2) She seem to have negative things to say about her dad/brother.
(3) Paulina hated the town we lived in after moving there a short time before we met. Her attitude never changed and she couldnt ever say anything positive.
(4) Her friends were few and far between. Most of them sparingly would say anything at all about her. I received a little more comments from them in the same vein of Maria’s.
She seemed entitled to everyone’s efforts. (Her family sued a neighbor for their dog biting her when she was little. The ugly part was that she seemed proud of the windfall of the settlement). She was a princess of the worst sorts.
The last time we ever spoke was worse than all of these situations combined. I certaintly hope that life helped open her eyes. Mine did.
(The biggest clue that I missed from Maria was her minor facial expressions when she saw us talk. She was concerned. Not jealous, not angry. )
I was blind but I learned to see because of Maria the Dark Bellwether.