Proud Patriots of Stikamuk County

Plenty of times in our lives, we find the hairs stand on the backs of our necks when we hear the sounds of “real red blooded” American’s music like Lee Greenwood, Ted Nugent, or Bruce Springsteen. We see prominent leaders like Wayne LaPierre, Dick Cheney, and Rudy Giuliani that inspire the fighting spirit within us. But all of these things are pale in comparison to the Proud Patriots of Stikamuk County.

The Stikamuk patriots push us to stand up for the fighting spirit of America. In my times around them, I heard tons of their stories about bravery. Our brothers and sisters in Stikamuk are the last line of defense, the vast majority of them will boastfully tell you “if they come up the mountain, we will shoot’em”. It didn’t matter if it was the North Vietnamese, Russians, North Koreans, Taliban, or any other enemies overseas.

I would often watch the news, often programming regarding the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, with my coworkers. I found myself asking a few of my coworkers at my former place of work about military service, seeing that I had done a stint in the active duty side of the US Navy. The answers from the Patriots of Stikamuk really surprised me. A few of them told me that “if the country really needed them, they would step up”. A few others would tell me that if we would just let a few of “Corn Holler’s plowboys over there, we would whip their asses”.  I also found a family member of a Vietnam veteran tell me this jewel of wisdom: “The gulf war really wasn’t for country people. We had work to do”. (This guy could be counted on to defend the homeland with his boisterous talk of shooting various “sumbitches” and his Spartanesque physique of 450 lbs.). A few of Stikamuk’s best told me about making junior college a priority, specifically chasing girls and drinking cheap beer. But they are the first to tell everyone how proud they are of their country.

I had always thought it wasn’t a unique thing to serve our military in a foreign country. I had known a few others that had either served in “the sand pit”, “the ‘Stan”, and or ‘Nam. But the patriots of Stikamuk County are such fervent American’s that they could never imagine leaving its comfortable shores. I always got the strangest looks when I told folks I had been deployed to the Caribbean, Central and South America. I spoke of seeing beautiful waters and wonderful sights. Many of Stikamuk’s best had never seen the international airport in a neighboring county. The idea of a foreign country, “with funny talkin’ folks”, is the reason why the patriots are the last line of defense.

When I ran into a native Stikamuk patriot that had served in the military; it was often in a National Guard unit at a local base where they had been stationed mostly, (outside of a short stay in boot camp). Many of the guardsmen never deployed, outside of in state training. I have met a few of them “in these parts”. Some of them were able to weasel their way out of deployments. The crème de la crème of these were rear echelon heroes that couldn’t stand or take off their hats for the national anthem. (I could go on about this).

In closing; I learned that the Proud Patriots of Stikamuk County are elitists among themselves. They imagine that jobs outside of their little world are not worth doing. It is always something that “them big city folks do”. They have no vision outside of their little world. The world can fall apart but it wont matter because it didn’t hit “Stikamuk County”. It is almost like it isn’t their job. That is why I salute the flag waving Proud Patriots of Stikamuk County.


About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
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5 Responses to Proud Patriots of Stikamuk County

  1. Jack says:

    I Googled “Stikamuk county” and all I got was links to porn sites. So I presume it is a pseudonym for an archetype.

    Some people love ‘Murica so much that they hate anything that is not American. It’s the same way in Taiwan and elsewhere. Those people are the true Patriots. God, kin, and country come first… as they should.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 5-2 to 5-9 | Mogadishu Matt

  3. Pingback: The Non-Existent Call to Arms of The Stikamuk Patriots | Mogadishu Matt

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