As I have done in the past few weeks; I found a reason to find myself disgusted by advice columns. I laugh and cringe when it comes to old standby’s like Ask Amy and the formerly great Dear Prudence. Most of these columnists are naturally inclined to give you bad advice. I think that people, especially men, get terrible advice that will steer them wrong. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses tripe. I always wanted to correct their responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (hat tip to Aaron Clarey @ Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from a local newspaper, originally from Dear Abby’s column (May 21, 2020): (watered down by yours truly)
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married 20 years ago. He never proposed; he just came home one day from boot camp and said that we needed to get married for benefits. I did and I regret it. It meant nothing to me. Things changed since then. He cheated on me and he had PTSD to the point of trying to kill himself. We are now happy with two kids. I wanted to redo our wedding. I also want him to re-propose. He says he isn’t ready. He says we have had more lows than highs. He says he will eventually. My feelings are hurt. I have been with him 20 years through thick and thin. Am I overreacting?
Here is my answer:
A: Yes, you are overreacting. Yes, he has been less than ideal. But he might be telling you something. Is there a chance that you overlooked your short falls? He may remember a lot of bad things. I don’t know the particulars of what happened but there are two sides to a coin. I think that you are using sunk cost fallacies. Does your relationship mean that much to you? I would suggest that both of you have a heart to heart discussion, writing things down and talking things out before you get mad in another twenty years.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.