As I have done in the past few weeks; I found a reason to find myself disgusted by advice columns. I laugh and cringe when it comes to awful examples like Ask Amy and Dear Prudence. Most of these columnists are naturally inclined to give you bad advice. I think that people, especially men, get terrible advice that will steer them wrong. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses tripe. I always wanted to correct their responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (hat tip to Aaron Clarey @ Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from UExpress’s Dear Abby, (July 22, 2020): (answered short and sweet by yours truly)
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are middle-aged. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. I love him, and I’m grateful for such a wonderful man at this point in my life. My problem is, he calls me “Sweet Baby” every single time he addresses me. (“Sweet Baby, what do you need help with?” “Sweet Baby, I am on my way.” “What did you say, Sweet Baby?”) Even when it comes to trying to be affectionate, he’ll say, “You’re my sweet baby, aren’t you?” He asks this over and over and over, and then says, “You’re my sweet baby.”
Abby, I could probably take it occasionally, but his continuous use of it now makes me cringe. I hate it! I have told him how much I’d prefer for him to use my name, but he won’t. He continues with the “Sweet Baby” in texts, calls, in person — constantly. I’m starting to wonder if he’s doing it deliberately.
He, in turn, likes being called “Big Daddy,” but I won’t do it. He’s not my daddy, and I don’t care for pet names.
How can one little thing like that be so annoying, to the point that I’m beginning to avoid him and visit him less? It breaks my heart because we can have such a good time together, but he is ruining it. I’m trying not to end a wonderful relationship. I feel that by ignoring my request, he is being rude. Your advice? — CRINGING IN THE SOUTH
Cringing in The South:
I have an exercise you need to undertake. Close your eyes, focus back 2 ½ years ago, before you got with your middle aged boyfriend. Now, focus back to the modern day but imagine your life without him. I don’t think that you understand how good you have it. You are bickering about pet names. I imagine that he could find some other middle aged woman to call “Sweet Baby”. I also imagine that the other woman would willingly call him “Daddy”. You might want to pitch the idea of changing the dynamic of your relationship, specifically considering a D/s arrangement or something of the like. Good luck, with the wrong viewpoint, you will need it.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at email@example.com
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.