As I have done in the past few weeks; I found a reason to find myself disgusted by advice columns. I laugh and cringe when it comes to awful examples like Ask Amy and Dear Prudence. Most of these columnists are naturally inclined to give you bad advice. I think that people, especially men, get terrible advice that will steer them wrong. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses tripe. I always wanted to correct their responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (hat tip to Aaron Clarey @ Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from UExpress’s Dear Abby, (July 26, 2020): (answered short and sweet by yours truly)
Last year I met a special man when I hired him to do some work related to my hobby. We easily fell into a friendship and have grown very close. We currently spend all our free time together. We talk every day on the phone, sometimes for hours. We are both divorced with children. He was married for 17 years and hasn’t been in a relationship since.
About a month ago, I kissed him. While he did kiss me back, hesitantly, that was as far as he let it go. He said he “doesn’t want to ruin what we have and isn’t sure if it’s the right thing.” I was embarrassed and hurt, but we carried on like nothing had happened.
He is 16 years older, and I know he finds me attractive. He has told me I am beautiful, among other compliments, and we’ve had a few very long hugs. I desire a physical connection with him, but I wish I didn’t.
Lately, when we are together I can’t stop thinking about it. He obviously knows how I feel, but I’m afraid of pushing the issue. I feel like maybe I should stop seeing him. I would miss him a lot, like losing my best friend. But I’m compromising my own needs by letting him string me along, or whatever it is he is doing. I know he would be hurt, too, if we “broke up.” I don’t know what to do. It feels like I am going to lose either way. — CAN’T WIN IN CALIFORNIA
Dear Can’t Win:
You are right; you won’t win. This is something that you aren’t going to understand, that you need to remember for now on. This man has went through the big “D” and we aren’t talking about Dallas. He has been bit by marriage before and I would gamble to think that it might have hurt him financially. There is also a small chance that he is either sharing custody or even paying “child rent” or what man call child support.
He isn’t stringing you along. He likes you but he doesn’t need to jump into another relationship. You are the one in the wrong. He does have value for you. He started with doing work for money and you made it weird.
Chalk this up for a life’s lesson. Find someone ready to date you and don’t make things weird.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.