Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Ask Amy. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from Dear Abby’s column (courtesy of ArcaMax) from November 24, 2020:
I am having problems with my baby dad helping me with our 2-year-old daughter. I don’t like the idea of putting him on child support. I have tried counseling with him. In addition to asking him to step up, I have tried giving him lists of what our daughter needs, and he still isn’t helping. Instead he’s asking me to help with his bills.
I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to go after child support since he now has two jobs. I need his help, but I don’t know how to get him to contribute. Any ideas? — STRUGGLING MOM IN OHIO
I differ from many people in how I would handle this. I must admit that this is a pickle to be in. Feeding one mouth more, instead of just one mouth in our current times, is a situation that most people don’t want to be in. With the WuFlu and changes in our workplaces, I find it appropriate to be sympathetic.
While I believe that adults, who made adult decisions, must accept the adult results. I would take the opportunity to learn many valuable lessons from this. You can create a list on your own time. I would also share the wisdom with others, instead of watching them make the same mistakes. Among one of these is expecting someone incapable of taking care of themselves to share resources and “fulfill” a supposed obligation of fatherhood.
As per the concerns of the child, maintain contact with the child’s father. A big mistake in many people’s lives is when they grew up not knowing one (or both) of their parents. Remain civil to the man, no matter the level of displeasure.
I would not count on him for much. He doesn’t seem to have a grip on the idea of balancing his financial affairs, despite having more than one job. By no means give him money, you most likely don’t have it to hand out. I would also draw tight boundaries for anyone else that senses your predilection to want to make people happy. Think of your immediate herd first.
If there is no support found through voluntary means, I begrudgingly advise you to go through the legal system. The legal system will not guarantee you a stable living state, but it might help you start to be more responsible with your life. I would also suggest getting in touch with local organizations and even charitable groups for assistance.
Today starts the rest of your life. It is the one that you chose and the one that you will end time with. Let the mistakes of today shape better decisions tomorrow. I wish you well.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at email@example.com
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.