The Matters w/ Matt: Missing Dallas Alice

Every Wednesday, I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Ask Amy. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from Dear Abby’s column (courtesy of Uexpress) from December 16, 2020:

(Dear Matt?)

I’m a truck driver who is on the road for weeks at a time. My girlfriend got a new job and is working every day. On the weekends she goes out to bars.

I feel jealous because I’m working and even when I can get a weekend to be with her, she doesn’t want to be intimate. Also, she promises to call me but rarely does. Should I just end it? I’ve been married twice and thought we would be a couple and marry. I don’t know what I should do. — ON THE ROAD

Dear OTR:

Doesn’t want to call.

She goes out to bars instead of spending time with you.

Doesn’t make you a priority.

Doesn’t want to be intimate.

            Yes, I just listed you a few reasons why you should break up. You said it yourself. Let me be the reasonable one and tell you that you need to break up.

            Any potential love interest that would rather get bombed and most likely railed instead of spending time with you isn’t a love interest.

            I’m not sure why you are itching to marry this person. You have failed at it twice already. You need to do some research and work on yourself before trying that again. I would suggest establishing health boundaries and not picking up “free agents” for another season.

            Start something to keep you busy in the meantime. Start a YouTube channel and talk about your tribulations. Listen to some audiobooks on subjects like establishing boundaries, men’s issues, and game. Exercise and make friends while you are at it.

            You have a chance at living a great life and being the healthy center of it.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Matters w/ Matt: Missing Dallas Alice

  1. Ugh. Over-the-road trucking seems like a tough row to hoe while trying to maintain any kind of relationship with a woman. Maybe not ass bad as being deployed military, but still much tougher than the norm.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The FreeMatt in Review: 12-21 to 12-25 | Mogadishu Matt

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s