Mark Fitzpatrick @ Toil of Fire speaks work and finding meaning in it. There are a few actionable items in it and I encourage you to put them in the back of your mind.
Quintus Curtius talks about leadership and doing the job you were assigned to do. He lends a few examples that are note worthy.
The Family Alpha lends us a few good reasons to quit booze from his personal experience. (I struggle with it too and I stopped minus special occasions because of things like this. Although I never prescribe quitting, I do suggest being aware when something has outlived its usefulness).
The Family Alpha has Anthony Migliorino on to talk about if bad childhoods can cause addictions. Feel free to listen for more info about peaceful parenting and consequences of your actions.
Starting over sucks but it is a good thing when you screwed up the other three times. Think on this.