The Matters w/ Matt: Loose Lips Sink Relation-ships

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Abby and Ask Amy. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from Miss Manner’s column (courtesy of February 3, 2021:

(Dear Matters):

 I have been married for 20 years to someone who cannot keep a secret. I learned early in our marriage not to tell her anything I didn’t want to see on social media or to be shared with her friends and family. And while it’s been hard to have a marriage with someone I can’t talk to about anything private, I’ve made the best of it.

She found out that I’ve known for months about a confidential matter involving a family member, and didn’t tell her about it. She confronted me and asked why I didn’t tell her.

Since she asked me directly, I told her that it’s because she can’t keep a secret, and gave her some examples of confidential information she’s blabbed about in the past. So of course, she’s mad at me, and now I’m wondering what I should have said instead.

How does one diplomatically tell one’s spouse that one won’t tell her anything confidential because she’s a blabbermouth?

Dear Reader:

Although I would never encourage someone to go to exorbitant lengths to deal with a loved one’s loose lips, I will tell you what I did with a snitch. You can choose to use this advice, or you can make up your own story.

My co-worker would find any reason to run off and snitch on me to my boss. He thought nothing of it. My boss was diplomatic about it but I got sick of it quick. My co workers from rougher parts didn’t like his mouth either. I found a solution:

I went to the one person (Mr J) that couldn’t keep his mouth shut and told him the story. I called the snitch co-worker a “dime dropper”. The guy that loves a story (Mr J) called his old buddies at my shop and asked if they worked with a guy called “Droppa’ Dime”. It wasn’t much longer until the snitch asked me if I called him a dime dropper. I told him no but if it was a lie that he could talk to our boss about it. Someone asked me why I did it, I told them that I don’t like working with people that couldn’t keep their mouths shut. He lost credibility fucking with the best.

My advice: Tell this person that they need to keep their mouth shut about your business. If they don’t observe your boundaries, walk. If you don’t want to walk, discredit them. Its up to you.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

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2 Responses to The Matters w/ Matt: Loose Lips Sink Relation-ships

  1. Pingback: The FreeMatt in Review: 1-1 to 1-5 | Mogadishu Matt

  2. Pingback: BARD’S CORNER OF BlOOD AND GUTS 065 - Barbarian Rhetoric

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