The Matters w/ Matt: Someone Sullied The Golden Arch

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Ask Amy. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting). Consider this piece from Dear Abby’s column (courtesy of Arcamax) from February 22, 2021:

(Dear Matters):

My daughter got married in a friend’s backyard three months ago. Her husband built an arch for the ceremony. He spent $285 on some very nice walnut, and they planned to keep it forever.

With my daughter’s consent, my wife loaned it to a niece of hers. The arch was broken and thrown out. We found this out only after weeks of requesting that we get it back. They have offered to pay the $285, but without even a sorry.

My daughter is extremely angry at my wife and the niece and her husband. I need words to console my wife and daughter. This has caused a deep emotional schism in our family. — WEDDING IN ARIZONA

(Dear Arizona Wedding):

Although you didn’t ask for advice; I will give you some. I understand your predicament. I value craftsmanship and putting together a masterpiece. I am often in awe of a piece of art that has made it through the years and tribulations. But this is the end of that.

I want you to own your end of this. In your letter, I didn’t spot one time in which you told the borrowers that you wanted it back, in “x” condition, and in such time frame. Yes, I understood that wife and daughter loaned it out in good faith, but no one seemed to verbalize concerns.

I would forgive them and let them keep their offered compensation. Your party is ridiculous in expecting apologies. I would not hold this against the borrowers and I would drop it. If you are getting hot about this kind of thing now, you will get worse when real challenges hit you and your extended group.

Your folks choose how they feel. You set the pace and folks will notice. You can set a better example by communicating more effectively and say what you expect out of them. Learn to stand up for what matters and let petty stuff go into the fuzzy parts of the rear view mirror. Chalk it up to a learning and teaching moment.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.


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3 Responses to The Matters w/ Matt: Someone Sullied The Golden Arch

  1. Gunner Q says:

    Not a great loss–why were they going to keep it forever?–but the offer of restitution meant either take it or forgive it. Grudge-holding is pointless beyond that point.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The FreeMatt in Review: 2-22 to 2-26 | Mogadishu Matt

  3. Pingback: BARD’S CORNER OF BADASS 068 - Barbarian Rhetoric

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