The Matters W/ Matt: A Cheat, A Liar, No Man’s Desire

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from Ask Amy’s column (courtesy of Arcamax) from March 23, 2021:

(Dear Matters):

I’m a 31-year-old husband with a beautiful wife and two amazing little girls.

My wife and I have been married for six years.

Two years ago, my wife reached out to an old flame and engaged in an emotional affair. She continued to talk with him even while we were going to marriage counseling. After she stopped that relationship, a few months went by quite nicely.

Then she started an emotional affair (through Snapchat) with a co-worker.

She was caught and said it would stop.

That happened exactly a year ago.

The day before Mother’s Day last May, she told me that the only thing she wanted was a day of not having to be a mother.

I was happy to oblige, so I loaded up the girls and we spent the day together, so “Mommy” could be on her own.

I didn’t hear from her all day and she didn’t come home that night.

The following day, on Mother’s Day, she met me at my mom’s house and apologized. She said she got drunk with an old friend.

Turns out, that was a lie. A few days ago, she confessed to sleeping with a total stranger that night.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like the love in my heart is just gone, and I do not want it to be gone.

I have never been unfaithful to my wife, but she has hurt me so many times. When do you draw the line?

If love doesn’t reappear soon, I don’t know what I’ll do. Neither one of us deserves a life of unhappiness.

Please lend me some of your wisdom.

– Heartbroken

(Dear Heartbroken):

You should have drawn the line years ago. In this situation, you are the idiot.

You don’t seem to ever say “stop” or actually say what your breaking point is.

Take a page out of a playbook that has very dingy corners, send her packing. When you find the next person you want to join in your life, make sure they know that terrible behavior and unwell actions are not welcome. Tell people in your life that you don’t have space for idiocy.

Explain what went wrong with your soon to be ex-wife, giving her a polite military style debriefing. Hope that you can dodge a long term bullet.

(If it is any consolation, your wife should never had gotten married. It appears that she needed a support system and a fallback for irresponsible actions).

I wish you luck and I encourage you to get back in touch with your friends. Time for Life 2.0.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.


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4 Responses to The Matters W/ Matt: A Cheat, A Liar, No Man’s Desire

  1. “Neither one of us deserves a life of unhappiness.”

    Dude, why the eff should you give a shit about her happiness. WTF is wrong with you that you put up with it not once, not twice, but are actually thinking of staying with this bitch after she’s done you wrong three times?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: The Matters W/ Matt: A Cheat, A Liar, No Man’s Desire — Mogadishu Matt | Whores and Ale

  3. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 3-22 to 3-26 | Mogadishu Matt

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