Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from Ask Amy’s column (courtesy of Arcamax) from April 6, 2021:
Dear Amy: My husband and I recently had our DNA tested.
We knew people can uncover unexpected relationships, but I wish we had thought about how to cope with this before we took our tests.
Amy, both of us have discovered that we have half-siblings.
My father had two children with another woman while I was in junior high.
My husband’s father had a child with a close family friend while his mother was pregnant with him.
Both of us are trying to understand this without the ability to ask our fathers (deceased), and without any deep understanding of what was happening at the time.
The last thing we want to do is ask our mothers, who are quite elderly.
Please caution your readers to consider, before submitting their DNA, what their own feelings and actions will be if they find out something shocking.
My husband and I agree that we are glad we know, but it has been difficult — particularly because all of these half-siblings really don’t want to meet or know us.
My question to you is — should we tell our siblings? They may want to know, but we are not sure.
As we have found out, once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Additionally, we know that eventually as more family members do their DNA, they may also learn about this.
What to do?
Yes, talk to your siblings. (A lesson to all, be honest with your kids. Family is no joke).
Another lesson being that you can be a parent and not be a saint.
Speaking with a sibling should not be about the titillating nature of a parent’s indiscretion but about an opportunity to learn more about your family. It could a good thing. Take the risk.
But you should all be alerted to the fact that this could be a sore spot for them too. Opening up old wounds connected to deceased family (that people had their minds made up about already).
Tread lightly and lean toward taking it to the grave.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.