The Matters w/ Matt: Rascal Roommate Renders A Rambunctious Rental

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Abby and Dear Prudence. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from Ask Amy’s column (courtesy of ArcaMax) from April 25, 2021:

Dear “Matters”:

My roommate “Bart” and I are mostly on great terms with one another, but a few times a month, he and I go through a frustrating routine.

It usually starts with me casually expressing my opinion on something, during the course of an otherwise normal conversation.

If he disagrees, he gets angry and curses at me. I ask him if we can talk about it, and then he storms off, doesn’t talk to me for days, and then, when he’s ready, he’ll start talking to me again.

I’m enabling his behavior by dropping the subject and letting him think it’s OK if he mistreats me in this way.

I think I do this because I want the whole thing to blow over and am just so done with his tantrums, but now I think I need to take action because it keeps happening.

Recently, he came into my room just to chit chat like we usually do. Then suddenly he gave his unsolicited opinion on my close relationship with a friend.

His attitude was critical and prying. He said he thought it was “fishy” that I hung out with my friend in my room with the door closed.

I felt this was very rude (and odd) of him to bring this up.

I calmly told him it wasn’t his place to judge, and that I did not ask his opinion of our relationship.

He walked out of my room cursing me, telling me to shut up, and to never ask him for anything ever again. He then left a book I had given him in front of my door.

I was shocked at how weirdly south that went, but also not surprised.

After these confrontations I’m left feeling awkward and ill-at-ease in our home for a few days and do my best to avoid him.

What do you think I should do about this?

– Really Done

(Dear “Really Done”):

Your situation isn’t anything that you shouldn’t be able to handle. I am going to tell you something that will help you as you move on with your life.

Your biggest screw up is the fact that you don’t establish boundaries and verbalize them. You seem to be surprised that your roommate walks all over you, but I am not. I think you are delusional when it comes to reading other people.

Your second biggest screw up is that you clearly don’t know how to screen and vet roommates. The further you move on with your life, the more you need to screen the people in your life. Why wouldn’t you screen the people that live with you?

You picked a roommate that either has limited mental function or is on the spectrum. You secretly hope that he will quit acting the way that he does, while you let him have his way. Try picking a better roommate.

Make sure that your next roommate knows what you want and your standards before they sign a lease.

Be an adult and enjoy having adults in your life from now on.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.


About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
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1 Response to The Matters w/ Matt: Rascal Roommate Renders A Rambunctious Rental

  1. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 4-26 to 4-30 | Mogadishu Matt

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