The Non-Existent Call to Arms of The Stikamuk Patriots

I find it ironic that the most admired paramilitary heroes of the Stikamuk Patriots lost their best in the noblest of military engagements, namely the Capital Siege. Our most special of special forces larpers were routed and the remaining patriots remain alarmed. The non-existent call to arms has not been answered.

I have spoken about the Stikamuk Patriots and how their hubris drives them to near delusional greatness. Their hesitance to volunteer or leave their beloved hollers is almost an enduring quality. But I address another bizarre occurrence:

The Patriots of Stikamuk County have purposely missed the non-existent call to arms. They sit idly by as dress wearing lawyers (judges) flip flop on if their beloved 2nd amendment means anything at all, watch the ATF team up with state law enforcement to seize guns from supposed traffickers, and grovel to greedy politicians for licenses to do what they did freely decades ago.

You would figure out these supposed darlings for the last line of defense would be awakened. You are dearly mistaken. They can’t be bothered to understand the news. They would rather watch reality television rednecks acting like dumbshits, while stuffing their faces, working on their 400 lbs. carriage. Their ignorance shines through in the greatest example of a quote given from our “illustrious geriatric dullard” president, who spoke of the American people needing F-15’s and nuclear weapons to overthrow the government. Our president goes on to speak about limiting what kind of weapons we should have and various schemes that have been thought up of. The patriots silence is near deafening if it weren’t for a straggling group of cicadas.

The patriots aren’t in the streets like leftists are. They aren’t making real headway or calling their representatives. (I would make the argument that they are sitting around with their thumbs up their butts but that is hoping for too much).

They aren’t answering a call for action. They being the physically and intellectually lazy slobs I thought them to be.

They could at least be trying to lose a few pounds and start PTing, but I regret that nary a grizzly holler dweller is out there huffing and puffing with me.

I may not be the best specimen and may need to lose a few pounds before answering the call, but at least I will be ready when the call to arms sounds. I will be ready and waiting…to point out for where those slobs are, for I will be standing alone.


About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
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1 Response to The Non-Existent Call to Arms of The Stikamuk Patriots

  1. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 6-21 to 6-25 | Mogadishu Matt

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