The Matters w/ Matt: A Jury Full of Friends

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from the Harriette Cole column (courtesy of Arcamax)from July 28, 2021:

A few months ago, one of my friends texted in our group chat that she needed to take a break from us. She has always struggled with her mental health, and she explained that she couldn’t handle the pressure of hanging out with people right now. She said that if we wanted to, we could add her back by the end of June.

Yesterday, an acquaintance posted an Instagram photo hanging out with the same friend who said she couldn’t handle being with people right now, which really hurt all of our feelings. Our friend hasn’t reached out to us about being added back in the group chat, when it’s well past the end of June. My friend group doesn’t want to keep chasing her, even though we adore her. Do we keep pushing or let her go?


Dear FGD:

One of the biggest mistakes we make in our lives is that we don’t tell people what we expect out of them. We often reward people with silence instead of verbalization. We often will repeat repugnant behaviors instead of stopping them. The people among me do the same to everyone’s detriment.

I have been blessed in my life a few times. I found myself surrounded by a few people of conviction that would tell me when I screwed up. On occasion, I also could receive actionable advice in how I could improve. These people could account for a few real friends that I have known.

To move on in our lives, we must grow past being phony shells of human beings. We are raw and flawed beings, instead of semblances of glossy statues. Social media won’t do this. Only we can.

I think that it would make sense for you to tell your friend where they went wrong, in the exact words that you used in your letter. I would speak to them in person. (Context is not easily construed through written and electronic means). I would not throw this person away, yet. Your friends should wait until you have a complete picture of your friend’s side of things, then your group can determine what is the next step.

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.


About freemattpodcast

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1 Response to The Matters w/ Matt: A Jury Full of Friends

  1. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 7-26 to 7-30 | Mogadishu Matt

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