The Matters w/ Matt: Violently Shaking Sense Into Someone

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this piece from the Dear Wendy column (courtesy of from July-August, 2021:

I’m a 19-year-old female and have had this guy friend, “Joe,” for years. We met in my first year of high school and we were basically two peas in a pod. We were different in a lot of ways – he was extroverted and outgoing, I’m introverted and to myself – but overall, we were great together and had a pretty tight friendship. Hell, there might’ve been a small part of me that may have been in love with him, but I don’t know if it’s truly that I felt that, or if it’s cause I’m just a sucker for and hope to live out one of those “best friend turned partner” type love stories. It’s probably the latter.

Anyway, throughout these past few months, I’ve been going through the worst time of my life. I’ve had family members deliberately give me COVID-19, I’ve had family members try to get me arrested, some of them tried to literally kill me, and many of them (who are very frequent pot smokers) tried to tarnish my name by insinuating that I’m a heavy drug addict or something for simply smoking a joint or two with them while we were still on good terms. (I should make a quick note here that I was not a frequent cannabis smoker at the time. I only did it on occasions back then, but after they began insinuating, I quit marijuana for good.) I lost my mother, my sisters, my brother, my grandmother and my father because of all of this, and because I was depressed, I stopped eating and lost over 10 pounds within less than a month (I now weigh less than I did when I was 13).

Joe knew that I was going through a hard time. I’d be texting him crying and saying that I needed him because my mental state was at its most dangerous and I’m trying to hold onto my sanity and not do anything I’ll regret. He always responded with “I’m sorry I haven’t been there. I’ve been busy.” I always, I dunno, had hope that he wasn’t being a terrible person and that he was actually busy, and you know what? Maybe he was, but to be too busy to quickly check up on your friend who’s expressed to you that she’s had suicidal thoughts and ideations? I dunno, I just found it messed up. And then today, we had plans to meet up because I needed to talk to him about that, only for him to cancel on me after I’d been standing outside waiting for him for almost an hour.

I didn’t want to explode, but that just did it for me. I went off telling him that he hasn’t been a good friend to me and telling him how I felt. He then said how he’s been so stressed with moving, how he’s been going through a lot that he never talks about cause he doesn’t want it thrown in his face (which I immediately shut down cause he knows I’ve never done that) and how he hasn’t had the energy (hasn’t had the energy to text his friend who made it clear she’s almost suicidal?), and how he’s not here to keep being yelled at by me (which is just “argh! the nerve!”). I’ve reached a point where as much as I still have the super tiniest bit of hope for this friendship, I’m also mentally depleted, and I’m just done. I hate to say it, but I’m really just mentally done. I’ve never had a friendship breakup that hurt like this. Especially at my lowest, when I literally have no one, not even my family. What advice can you give on recovering and healing from something like this? —MLW

Dear MLW:

To fully recover from this, you might try apologizing for your atrocious behavior. You put all of your negative energy from your issues with your family members on this person you called a friend. You will not like my advice on how you can start the process of actually “recovering”.

You need to start by realizing that there are other people in this world besides you. These people have a myriad of things going on in their lives, often that cause stress and in a few cases; mental anguish. Covid-19 has been a challenge for everyone. Plenty of people have a set of less than ideal experiences with their families. This is nothing new, it is highlighted in movies using multitudes of tropes.

You need a counselor or a trusted professional that can aid you with these issues. You threw a lot out there and there is a chance that he did not the severity of your pain. Both of you should take the time to get your lives in order, only then you can be the healthy gift in someone else’s life.

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

About freemattpodcast

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1 Response to The Matters w/ Matt: Violently Shaking Sense Into Someone

  1. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 8-2 to 8-7 | Mogadishu Matt

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