Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Ask Amy. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from the Annie’s Mailbox column (courtesy of Arcamax.com)from August 24, 2021:
I have 19-year-old sister who I think is sexually active. A few weeks ago, I went over to “Carol’s” apartment to help with some cleaning. When I went to throw some garbage away, I noticed her jewelry box was open. I looked inside and spotted an unopened condom at the bottom. I was shocked.
Carol has been seeing her boyfriend, “Vince,” for about three years, but I never thought they could be having sex. I know my parents don’t agree with having sex before marriage (neither do I), but I don’t know if they are aware of this.
As a concerned sister, what should I do? Should I tell my parents, talk to my counselor or talk to Carol personally? She would kill me if she knew I went through her stuff, but I want to protect her.
Before I would jump at a quick and easy solution to your issues, I wanted to share with you some giant red flags that you have missed. We will tackle them in the order that you presented them.
- “I went over to Carrol’s apartment to help with some cleaning”.
Can she do her own cleaning? 19 years old is generally considered an adult and if she chooses to be an unremitted slob, she should be free to do so.
- “When I went to throw some garbage away, I noticed her jewelry box open. I looked inside and spotted an unopened condom at the bottom. I was shocked”.
It seems that you are nosey. Could you have closed it without snooping? Or was this a sign that you had carte blanche permission to do as you pleased, considering your penchant to insert yourself into other people’s lives? (Noted that you had yourself over to help a grown woman clean).
- “I know my parents don’t agree with having sex before marriage (neither do I), but I don’t know if they are aware of this”.
It is good that you had shaped a set of good behaviors growing up, but adults have to make their own decisions. Your sister is an adult. You can not live her life for her.
As per your questions, I will answer those with the swinging hammer of reality. You can live an easier and fulfilling life when you learn to “pump your breaks”, then mind your own business. Your sister is an adult, and she is not being served by busybodies. If you admit to snooping, it will hurt her opinion of you, considering it will out you as someone that won’t respect someone’s privacy. When you finally “cut up” your letter, you will find out that the central focus is not on your sister, but you.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at email@example.com
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.