I am generally not one to be stimulated by the vast majority of articles that I read off of the internet. The tripe runs thick but often lacks substance or much journalistic value. But I found something with a few takeaways.
Caroline Lowbridge, in a piece from BBC.com, had mentioned a few instances of lesbians being pressured/emotionally blackmailed/harassed into “being involved” with trans women. (many of these trans women had anatomy that could be described as anatomically male). This wasn’t a shock to me, considering I had read about trans women trying to shame heterosexual men into either relationships or dalliance. My purpose in talking about this isn’t slamming individual trans people but to bring something up that they missed: manufactured attraction will not make you whole.
It doesn’t work for the heteronormative relationships. Hesitant and lukewarm lovers are second to those that actually are attracted to us. Relationships built on lies do not hold up. Terrible dalliances won’t make you feel accepted in a community. It will just keep you feeling like a victim.
In the event that your “side” is actually legitimate, it will take work on your part to be whole. I have said this about certain religious people and social cliques. You can’t shame anyone into actual healthy attraction. Certain feminists have bemoaned this, but never notice that they need something completely different. (Arguments could be made that they need/want to be validated for their choices/beliefs).
Mental illness and identity issues aside, you have to ask yourself: If I cant attract “x” group with what I am offering, am I doing something wrong? Perhaps I am targeting the wrong group?
I had been pondering more after Lowbridge’s piece. If trans people truly wanted acceptance, would they consider breaking free of the “industry” that is using them? Could they consider a radical course correction i.e. self accountability outside of labels?
I believe that many in the community might benefit from a reappraisal of sorts. A victim slant might not help you enjoy the people who authentically accept you. Loving yourself authentically allows you to love others. But emotional blackmail serves neither party in a healthy way.