Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).
Consider this piece from Dear Harriette’s column (courtesy of Arcamax)from January 9, 2022:
My boyfriend still supports some of the most problematic musicians of all time. Some of my boyfriend’s favorite R&B artists have a lengthy history of abuse and sexual violence against women. I cannot support any artist who is a known abuser, but it doesn’t seem to faze him at all. He says that just because he doesn’t agree with their actions, it doesn’t mean that he can’t listen to their music. I’m thinking of having an in-depth discussion with him about why it’s wrong to support these musicians, but I don’t want to overreact. Am I overreacting?
— Stop Supporting
Dear Stop Supporting:
To be a crusader, one must have a crusade. It is in within these crusades that time is spent. I have found that many people are engaging in modern day crusades that waste both time and effort. One of those is finding things “problematic” and being upset by them.
I think that you are overreacting. Your boyfriend is most likely an autonomous human being capable of independent thought. He also has to make his own decisions about how he “feels” about things. This is where your ultimate foul is.
Your boyfriend doesn’t celebrate these artists’ lifestyles. He listens to and enjoys their music. He has shown a level of emotional maturity that is healthy in men. This is not alarming, but what is alarming is that you seem to make emotional linkages to things that you don’t have control over. This is something you may focus on.
It is alarming that you seem to press further on him to change his mind. I would suggest that you should accept him for what he is. Your “in depth discussion” is not needed. I would also push you to seek help due to what seems like controlling behavioral tendencies. It may serve you in the future to understand that many people may not feel the same way that you do. The fights that you avoid starting are the fights that you don’t have to finish
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at email@example.com
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.