The Tale of Two Friends: Strange Observations

A smart man once told me that you often have to let certain friends go, often after you have gotten further down life’s tough road.

I had two people that fit this description. Ironically so, the most set up person chose to wander away and the more spirited one seemed to surprise me.

I wasn’t sure how to share this bizarre turn of events.

(a) I Don’t Have Friends But Don’t Want Anyone As A Friend

(https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2020/05/21/pitfalls-of-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/)

I don’t remember what post I had made that covered this one person that was previously in my life. He had invited me to his wedding and I had a polite relationship with his fiancee’/wife. I felt like I got along with him okay. I attempted to be the friend that he often talked about. (Considering he lives less than a mile from me). He would act squirrely when he saw me at the unit at work. He had mentioned that I lived not far from him but he abruptly cut off a conversation when I went to see him. He sidestepped a comment about my bring over cuts of meat, (we had discussed about before). I felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of it or giving him anything. I let it go. He is doing well. He left our old workplace and started his own business. I still pray for him but I leave him well enough alone.

(b) Tried and True. Generous and Faithful. But Life Throws Us Curveballs.

We have known each other for years. Experienced many life events. Life has beat the shit out of him. Ex-fiancée dipped after an ugly fight. A DUI and bad experience with people he hung out with pushed hi to be a shut in. He moves, starts new job, but becomes a bit of a shut in (or one of the youngest curmudgeon like characters). I wasn’t sure what I was getting out of it. I felt like he was starting to hate the world. He seemed to create the enemy he was always looking for. I starting seeing less, getting less involved. But this last time I saw him, something huge changed. He is less angry. He doesn’t want to disagree with others more often. I feel like he might be trying to be the type of human being that we always wanted to be. It seems like we both are looking at Life 3.0.

You cant win them all but you have to celebrate when one soldier in your volunteer army comes back.

I don’t feel abandoned but I do worry about bleeding off the most organic people I have had in my life.

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5 Responses to The Tale of Two Friends: Strange Observations

  1. audremyers says:

    I very much enjoyed these two stories. Hard to know how or why people move into and out of our lives. I have come to the conclusion that the people who move into our lives for more than just a few minutes are there ‘for a season’ and I think we’re supposed to learn something from the association. Sometimes to our benefit, sometimes as a learning experience – which, though unpleasant, is not less a learning experience.

    When I read the second story, I thought of Jordan Peterson. I don’t know how you feel about him as I’m new to your site but it sounded to me as if, perhaps, he’d gotten some information that was missing in his life. I’m glad the ‘one soldier’ came back. I hope the friendship grows.

    There’s a lot of heart in there, Matt.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I read some JP. I do like his work but some of it is too “beginner” for me. It does help light other people off in their lives. I do try to learn from the experiences, do a better job of not thinking the worst of people.

      Liked by 1 person

      • audremyers says:

        I wonder if it’s human nature to make snap decisions about others or if only some of us make those decisions. In any event, like you, I curb that instinct (?) and let life happen.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bunk X says:

    Ah… drifting friendships. The ones who drift back are the best.

    Like

  3. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 2-21 to 2-25 (2022) | Mogadishu Matt

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