Another Philosophical View On Non-Ritualistic Suicide

I have spoken about the very sensitive subject of suicide plenty of times. I have “bantied” around the veteran suicides statistics. I have told people about my mental struggles during my first year of my Navy haul. I have angrily discussed a few of the Hollywood and music industry suicides, specifically Kurt Cobain. But I don’t think I have discussed a few of the things that truly bothered me about suicide.

I am thinking ahead of the poor schmuck that has to clean up the area where a person dies. I am thinking beyond what happened to a friend of mine, which is what the first person on scene experiences. I also think beyond what the animate objects serve in people’s memories, especially those that are on scene or left in a person’s estate.

What truly upset me was that people I had known that took their lives did not see what they were killing in its entirety. The pain was alleviated along with the past, but another thing was taken also. I am sure that I am stealing some philosophical idea with this but I think it is a folly to “kill the future you”. Not just some Pollyanna belief that everyone has the opportunity to be awesome, but some sense of “x” is what you are supposed to experience. It might be lobsters, but it might be shit. It might be rainbows, but it might be dark storms and suffering. (I personally believe that many people that have experienced the shit in life doing the best that they could, the way they were told, should take bigger gambles and find value in suffering. Although I don’t worship the idea that “life is suffering”).

In the dumbest way possible, I think that there is a intellectual bankruptcy in suicide, at least from your past. I think that your past is a valuable piece of time. Or at least history in a loose sense. I think that cutting off the past in an unnatural way is bad. I think that it is part of human existence, even if you didn’t use your time wisely or had a “bad hand dealt”.

Taking another tack here, I was enjoying a jog at lunch during terrific weather. The spectre of someone I knew that had mental degradation to the point of him taking other people’s lives made me think of some dark things. I barely remember bits and pieces from where I grew up. Just like him, I chose to move on to another stage of my life. He chose to embrace something akin to nihilism, beyond what is good. I feel like I did away with what was wrong in my past and let myself grow “up”.

I am not forgetting the past but I let a portion of my past that didn’t serve me die off in a sense. I wanted to dare to say that I killed the past, although this isn’t true.

I feel like taking your life is a waste, unless it is connected to something close to a mission, matter of nobility, or serving the community.

(Note: Many people I knew that took their lives suffered from mental issues or lasting effects of drug use. I am not a fan of drugs nor was I, but I recognize the tragedy).

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2 Responses to Another Philosophical View On Non-Ritualistic Suicide

  1. Reminds me of a guy I knew who walked in on his friend hanging from the ceiling. The police made him take his friend down. I’m sure he still thinks about that often. Not something you can just forget about.

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  2. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 3-21 to 3-25 (2022) | Mogadishu Matt

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