Pointlessness Of Living A Good Life…

On a somewhat bright and sunny day, I was caught up in the usual malaise. I had remembered a handful of “success” stories that I had heard from other men. During this,  I was blessed to be driving, largely unmolested, down the road. I passed by a large set of buildings that had just saw the return of many teleworking personnel. (I had loved the empty parking lot when it lasted). My wandering thoughts had pointed me in a bizarre direction. It was thinking of my lack of apparent success and if anyone else felt this way.

I had done my best to make some semblance of gains. I had made it to work on time, worked on my education on my off time, and volunteered when possible. I did not achieve what I was told would be the fruits. In the rearview, it wasn’t a mistake. But I feel that it might have been a mistake for other men to do the same.

Statistics often give a view into reality. Some of us will be empty handed. A small percentage can be managers. A small percentage can be accepted for certain programs.

An inconvenient reality is also here. Most of us are shitty choices for supervisors. People with certain personalities are often not placed where they would be best used, but often inhabiting where convenient. Talents are unused. Many are left to rot. And contrary to what the Horatio Alger loving crowd says, many will never be in the limelight. (Outside of getting caught drinking beers in the parking lot or telling someone from the admin building to “go f*ck yourself”).

I am not one for nihilism. Jeff Lebowski was correct that it sounds exhausting. But I make the argument that living a good professional life and personal life is only for the top 15% of a community. For many, it makes more sense being a piece of shit.

I knew of a few college graduates of decent upbringing that should be recruited for that program. A well meaning young lady was a poor choice for a teacher. An overwhelmed young man didn’t need to be a “yes man” talent agent. I think that we need more bouncers and whores. (Sad that I didn’t exactly have that many friends in any of those careers). They didn’t do well at their soul sucking jobs. They were unfulfilled by the stupid meetings and stupid office dwelling work.

I felt like it would have made more sense to be a professional drunk at times, considering that line of work has been under attack by malicious parties. (Namely the religious, AA, legal environment, and responsible parents). People bemoan the mishandled potential of a drunk, but say nothing about someone that mindlessly inhabits a cubicle/navigates three hour commutes everyday.

I also present the ugly truth that we don’t have enough run of the mill pieces of shit. I personally don’t know that many people that buy wheels of scratch off lottery tickets. There aren’t enough professional horse racing gamblers, throwing their tickets on the ground when losing, but woo-hooing when successful. Often tip toeing around when bills are due.

(I am not allowed to bring up that there aren’t that many shakedown artists and arsonists anymore. The second served as a catalyst for change and a way to keep the terrible honest. They were professional pieces of shit that served a purpose).

I knew a man who found no joy in his work, but was well respected at a drinking establishment on the edge of Little Vietnam. He saw historical events, met famous warriors, and experienced the sauciest of parking lot beauties. Work paid the bills and barely kept the wife happy. I honestly believe that it would have made more sense for him to give up all hope and take up the call to follow the Black Velvet Band. His workplace was like many others, closing its gates on those that cared. His second stable workplace eventually burned in a weird fire. But the castle which he drank only ceased to time and a death in a family, which was more natural than the ugliest buildings I have worked in.

When I looked back at a level of regret in myself and others, I make note that some of us could have been better pieces of shit or criminals. A Fedex delivery driver should have been a car thief. The office clerk could have been a low grade burglar. The corporate finance analyst missed their calling to launder money.

It was pointless for some of us to buck the statistics. It made little sense to lie and say that they should have gotten married. But it was a touch sad that our lives could have made more sense if we let go, then became the degenerates that we could have found success doing.

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7 Responses to Pointlessness Of Living A Good Life…

  1. tealveyre says:

    I think it all depends on a person’s “why” or doing something. Whether it’s extrinsically or intrinsically motivated

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heh.

    Methinks we’ve had peace too long. Dang nukes ruined everything. Now everyone’s afraid to take a few thousand troops and pillage the next nation over.

    Humans are supposed to lose X% of the population in war. That’s probably how it’s supposed to be. And that maybe why things are so messed up.

    You tell me – are today’s Swedes happier today or would they be happier getting into a boat and raiding villages of people who speak weird (to them languages)? I’m guessing the latter.

    And heck, watching The Hu videos, I can tell those guys really, really want to sack their neighbors. But all their neighbors got nukes so that won’t exactly work out well.

    Liked by 1 person

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