Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).
Consider this Dear Annie article (courtesy of Arcamax) from June 6, 2022:
Dear Annie: I have been in a relationship for almost nine years now. We met when I was 18 and he was 24. He was my first serious boyfriend and my only real boyfriend ever as an adult. I immediately moved in with him after starting college, which was about five months into our relationship.
During these nine years, there have been multiple incidents of infidelity — from both of us. These past two years seem to be especially terrible in regards to cheating and lying to each other. During a break in the spring of 2021, my boyfriend told me he was potentially expecting a baby with an ex he had slept with. We had been trying to have a baby for years, so you can imagine how surprised I was to hear this news.
The baby was born in September 2021, and he eventually told me it was not his child. I’m not sure how he knows this because he has never been anywhere near a DNA test. Anyway, he swore he wouldn’t talk to her again and that they were not in contact anymore.
About three months ago, I woke up from a nap, and he was standing at the end of the bed. He informed me that the ex was pregnant again and once again he might be the father. I rolled out of bed, put my shoes on and went to my mom’s without saying one word to him.
Yesterday, when I was sleeping, he sent me a text message to inform me that he had lost his uncle due to a long-term illness and that his ex suffered a miscarriage. He says he is extremely saddened by this. I have noticed an extreme change in his behavior since he received the news about the baby.
I honestly do not feel any empathy for his situation, but I still want to be supportive of his feelings, considering his uncle’s passing. Now I’m debating if we should even be in a relationship anymore, considering his attachment to this ex. I am only 26 and have been thinking about reentering the dating world following the past two years. What should I do? — Losing
Carl Lewis was an immense athlete in the track and field world. He could run and at times he was known for it. He gotten beat out by a cheater. The cheater came clean eventually. But the opinions of others are kinder to him the further we go down that well ran road.
I think that you tried your best to “run a solid”. You did your part. I make the assumption that you tried to make things work. Your are winded and aching from the ankles now.
You can stop caring now. You didn’t kill his uncle. I strongly doubt that you had sex with his ex. It is admirable that you try to be a decent person, but you can stop now. It won’t change anyone in your periphery.
It will be a tough timeframe moving on. The rearview might appear to be sunny; but in the long run, you should forget. It is okay to forgive. Find time for yourself. Look at the decent things you have done and accomplished.
You may find yourself looking back at the slights, but you should see the love your sent out. You could see what you “won” and helped others win at. You too may find yourself proverbially drafted by the NBA and NFLs of life.
I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at email@example.com
If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.