The Wild Dunmores of Somewhere County

I was digging through news reports and I saw where a man was arrested in one of my “drive through” counties. The police arrested this guy for allegedly attacking another man with a machete, leaving the other man a bloody mess. It reminded me of something darker.

The man, who made for a bewildered mug shot, was held for mental heal evaluation. He also happened to have a last name in common with some other people I knew growing up. These people, who I will call the Dunmores, made life interesting for several communities. (I use a false name to protect the guilty).

I had learned of the Dunmores when I started middle school. There was a Dunmore male my age. That male Dunmore had a sister/cousin who had rhyming names. They were both loud with little to no impulse control. The male would get offended when he didn’t understand big words. The female Dunmore was always yelling at other female students and fighting females of her demographic.

I had mentioned the Dunmore last name to my father, who had mentioned a crazy story about his work. He had dealt with a possible relative of his who was mentally ill and well known by the police. That guy, who we will call Cousin, had a schizophrenic episode out in public. The police called his grandma, who got him his medication. My father remembered the grandmother and Cousin fairly well.

In a weird range of events, the sibling/cousins disappeared to the ancestral home of the Dunmores, which was a community not far from where I grew up. There were a ton of Dunmores in that community. The high school was known as the home court of a former NBA star with their last name. (On an unrelated note, their basketball team had to forfeit games due to suspensions). That high school was also known for its lax academic standards, which was a relief to the Dunmores.

I had thought I was clear of the Dunmores when I made it to high school. The one Dunmore was set back a grade and the other had been enrolled in that other school. But some of their relatives were enrolled at our school and they didn’t get along with another subset of Dunmores. It was made known that their parents were trash and have run afoul of Dunmore standards.

It was a pleasant afternoon when it boiled over. Someone’s aunt and mom fought it out near the front of our school. The police showed up. The students weren’t allowed to witness but I was told it was a hairpulling good time.

I have been blessed to dodge the Dunmores, considering I have moved a bunch in the past 20+ years. I hadn’t heard from them in a while until I saw a possible sighting of the machete hacker in the news.

Unrelated to the Dunmores, I had seen a wild ass dude who was of a prominent local family in the arrest column. That guy was guilty of a local jail escape, five pund meth possession, and fleeing police custody. He also had a jailbait girlfriend. He had this open mouth look to him and a supply of tattoos that would put a fourth rate rapper to shame. They reminded me of the Dunmores. It seems that the craziness is beyond genetic.

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4 Responses to The Wild Dunmores of Somewhere County

  1. audremyers says:

    Funny story!


  2. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 6-20 to 6-24 | Mogadishu Matt

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