Anti-Gambling Protestants Bet On The Wrong Horse

I was in a casino connected to a fairly well known town in *deleted state name* for work. We had already had lunch at what passed as a mall. Our vehicle had fuel to drive around to where we needed to go to and back to what parking lot we needed to waste time in. My co-worker was giddy that we got “stranded” in that place, mostly due to his penchant for blowing money at gambling establishments. I wasn’t as thrilled as first, until I found the sportsbook.

It was early in the day and most sports hadn’t started up. But my favorite gambling “institutes” had races on for the day. I enjoyed mediocre food to eat and the friendly staff who worked diligently for their two patrons. I was able to find a race sheet and a daily guide for two tracks. I wasn’t super fond of throwing around dough for a full spread of races for two tracks, but I settled on one course that day.

I bet on the wrong horses and ended up chewing up less than $20, which went out of my food budget. By the time we were all going to leave, my co-worker blew through short of two thousand dollars. I laughed and he laughed. He enjoys some slots on occasion, along with video poker. All in all, it was a pleasant experience waiting.

Fast forward a few years and a few surgeries, I finally remembered that trip. I bemoan not having a OTB nearby and I certainly wish I had a real casino where I could “play the ponies” in comfort. People always ask me why my locality doesn’t have something like this. The answer is simple:

The people who stop gambling establishments in my state are the “no fun” protestants that ruined most good things. They gave us a stupid alcohol control set up. They make it hard to do business in anything considered “adult”, including mixed use restaurants.

Their puritan attitudes send my money to other states and corporations, who often send other people’s kids to school with the tax windfall.

The protestants make it blatantly known that they hate gambling (vice) and how it encourages “God’s people” (read men) to neglect their families.

But I want those people strung up on the yard arm of their own creation. These assholes gamble everyday.

(1) Life Insurance

They are literally gambling that one of their family members (or themselves) will die at a certain point and someone else is betting against them, using the windfall to invest it. (GAMBLING???)

(2) Auto Insurance

Those mamby pambies are the idiots that pushed our elected officials to require auto insurance for all drivers. But the same idiots don’t understand that insurance is a gamble of sorts. They also gamble that their insurer with honor their contract, which happened in 2011 when storms hit my home state.

(3) Church and Little League raffles

I have gotten nipped for tickets to many raffles in my community. I helped sponsor kids going to conferences and paid for a youth wrestling league. I’m not mad that I didn’t win. I’m mad that they can have their version of gambling and I can’t benefit Three Spires (or whatever companies that deal with my racing).

(4) Picking Squares, workplace football pool

Most of these people have relatives that “pick squares” for football games or have “Pick 3” card pools at work. I know of a few lesser educated people that actually play the university’s math department ran book. But I find it stupid that they won’t let me have my own establishment.

(5) Bad Food, Speed Limits, Car Parts

Statistics. You always have a decent chance of dying in a car crash. When you eat out, you have a floating chance of getting food poisoning or a decent chance that the underpaid person cooking your food went to work sick. You gamble that a refrigeration unit didn’t hiccup at Walmart, if you don’t want to question Walton’s kids, I want to scare you about my NC Walmart store experience. You also gamble that a certain machine shop’s pill head did all of his quality checks during his shift. You also gamble that he didn’t pass one of his parts to make his quota.

(That part may cause a steering failure and maim one of your children. If you don’t believe me, you might want to visit a big customer contract machine shop sometime).

I just want to tug on your non-existent heartstrings the next time you hear those joyless fun killers speak about their opposition to my OTB/casino. They are gambling that I will accept their religious views and I will give them 12;1 odds that I could get them to gamble over it.


About freemattpodcast

Lead shill for The FreeMatt Podcast
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1 Response to Anti-Gambling Protestants Bet On The Wrong Horse

  1. Pingback: FreeMatt In Review: 8-8 to 8-12 (2022) | Mogadishu Matt

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