To Keep Lovers From Being Friends (A FreeMatt Paradox)

I had previously mentioned that I am not easily connected to people as “friends”. I have a few friends that really made it. I don’t throw around the term loosely. The tough attitude applies to lovers and liaisons.

I have mentioned to many that “I don’t f*ck friends”. Yes, I have had girlfriends that I had good times with. I also took out a few of these. But they were never equal to my closest friends.

I didn’t expect my gf at the time to stop her slumber to help me with a wild escapade or an opportunity that was completely bonkers at 3 am. My other gf had a weird sense about how to have a blast, but she wasn’t someone I could take to a baptism. Most of my actual friends, the strange ones included, were more capable of knowing how to act.

It isn’t out of a sense of sexism or prejudice that I kept them out of certain parts of my life. It was out of a selective sensibility. I think that certain parts of your life are immensely private and people should earn their way into celebrating with you. I feel the same about taking randos to funerals.

I also feel that we muddle what friends are when we add our liaisons to the mix. I jokingly had said that your “Thursdays” have certain privileges, while your toughest of friends can carry on a communal conversation with a proper pace. It has served a few of my friends well to keep their casuals casual.

(We all have had events where we could take our gfs or liaisons, but one should be careful that those people blend in with others. I had made those mistakes before and it took screwing up to learn this).

I am a friendly person. I enjoyed motorcycle rides with my one gf. The other had interesting people to chat with. I enjoyed a roll in the hay with one and the same one was fond of simple jaunts. But I just don’t see how I could classify the sexual partners, liaisons, and girlfriends in my life as “friends”.

I think that the classification is something akin to an alternate taxonomy. Many people are quick to loop them into one group out of ease and their desire to not be “fingered” as a judgmental asshole. I would rather be the asshole that keeps things less complicated by not letting my lovers be filed as “friends”.

I ask a lot from my friends. As I said before, you may not have it in you to be my friend. But many have had it in them to be a temp agency girlfriend or a liaison.

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3 Responses to To Keep Lovers From Being Friends (A FreeMatt Paradox)

  1. Will S. says:

    I don’t think FWB can ultimately last; we’re hardwired for monogamy, and sooner or lating, the physical bonding leads to emotional bonding, at least for one partner if not both.

    Someone posted a comment about open marriages at Patriactionary, noting a great line a comedian had, “Ah; so was it your idea, or are you the one who cries yourself to sleep over it?” Think that can result with FWB, or something similar.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: FreeMatt in Review: 9-26 to 9-30 (2022) | Mogadishu Matt

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