I am loathed to start a “fight” due to knowing that I am nowhere near pure. I have misquoted people. I have had “laughable” lovers. I have “drowned” those in my life with misplaced intensity. But I feel that I must talk about someone that completely has overanalyzed something in their life to the detriment of men amongst them.
I imagine that I had spoken about it before and I won’t apologize for calling this “bottle up from the cellar”.
The weird reference was one gentleman badmouthing another man’s choice of “liaisons”. Both gentlemen were active at one time in the “pick up” community. I believed that both had a different idea of “purity” in their movement. But I believe that the gentleman who applied the critique of the other man’s woman missed the mark for completely different reasons.
I understand that many people have a desire to be seen as authorities, or some type of leadership vision. I have known of men who were loaned a temporary label of authority when they highlighted another man’s departure from an observed mean. This was supposed to be one of those situations, but I flinched for good reason.
One of the worst elements of the pick up community is that many men seem to not know when they are winning, or how to be happy when they meet someone that “strikes their fancy”. This applies even if their paramour fits in that “top level pull” or if it falls well outside of embarrassment.
Self loathing for purposes of purity (or ideological reinforcement) is stupid.
I think that the one guy realized something about himself. He might have though that there was an intangible bit of something that struck him. He might have found value in something, instead of selecting for elimination.
I even dared to think that the man in question was enraptured by this woman for some trait. I personally found her to be physically attractive and having traits that a man might value. (She seemed to have an earnest zeal for the man or at least was able to manifest this physically).
I would dare to think that the one man found a reason to accept the beauty in something. I honestly hope that the other man has his own “moment” that shakes him, or at least comes to a point where he is challenged.
I did my best to enjoy the romps that ended poorly. I loved a few women that were never going to be models or would owe a plastic surgeon money for decades. I believed in beauty as others couldn’t. I am not prescribing angelic qualities, but I can tell others that I could find “beauty” in that part of my life.
I’m not much of a “philosophizer”. I was inspired by an Art of Manliness post and wanted to put a quote from it below.
“When we don’t apply our hearts to understanding and rely exclusively on academic explanations to plumb life’s depths, something fundamental about the Good and the Beautiful becomes lost to us”.