The Matters w/ Matt: Wrong Man for The Right Job

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this Ask Amy article (courtesy of Amy Dickinson @ Tribune Content Agency ) from November 30, 2022:

Dear (Matters):

I am shocked and hurt by comments my brother-in-law made to me during the recent otherwise wonderful trip my husband and I took with him and my sister.

He is the most physically healthy of all of us, but perhaps he is losing his filters as we aging people sometimes do.

We live in separate states and have traveled extensively as couples over the last 15 years – usually twice a year. Both couples have been married for 50 years.

We have a great time together. I thought we always enjoyed each other’s company. My sister and I are best friends.

At the end of our most recent trip (outside of others’ hearing) my brother-in-law insisted that I had married the wrong person.

I was shocked, denied this, but was too taken aback to ask why he thought this. I love my husband. He is a wonderful, loving, kind and generous man.

He would be extremely hurt by this comment, since he believes that the two men have developed a close friendship over more than 50 years.

I don’t know what to say to my husband and sister. I have been obsessing, perhaps grieving, over this comment. I wonder if we should stop traveling together, though this would be very painful for at least three of us.

What do you think about this? What should I say or do?

— Saddened

                         Dear Saddened:

I watched the right man woo my ex-girlfriend’s family. The right man won the heart of that redhead’s father. He was picked over a heartfelt sailor. The father told me to move on.

The right man knocked up my ex-girlfriend and brought more to the table. He was able to promise her comfort and understanding, all in a familiar setting. The wrong man was left to move on.

You might have picked the “wrong man”, but you got the right man for the job. I can tell you that in the long run, it doesn’t matter what those kind of people say. I grew comfortable being the wrong man.

I would take being the wrong man to heart. I would suggest that you speak frankly to that brother in law and tell him what you wrote in your letter to us. After being upfront and honest, I would think hard about the correct words to tell your sister what you said.

I would tell her that you felt like you have done well with the wrong man. I would say a pithy saying like “If he is wrong, I would rather not be right”. I wouldn’t punish the innocent, though. Even the “wrong” kind of man wouldn’t do that.


I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.


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