I needed to take a time out from Wednesday’s normal “Matters w/ Matt”. I had been pondering something I had been harping on for some time.
I was blessed to hear very few people ever say to me the following saying:
Just Be Yourself
I noticed that the kind of people that said this to me were often the kind of people that always had a strong community around them. They never had to blindly try to find a connection or a job. They never had anyone question their personalities or their efforts.
They seldom if ever were challenged. They also never had to face adversity or ever had some sense of hunger.
They lie when they say “just be yourself”.
I haven’t seen great fruit out of my efforts. I have seen the same amount of results out of my not serious actions and my serious ones. But I saw crappy results when I was myself.
I sure as hell fell flat when it came to romance. It didn’t pay to be quirky and say what was on your mind. I even had people treat me badly behind my back when I was “the old me”. It also paid to be aloof in the workplace. My most earnest actions often paid out negatively.
Years proved that I needed to be a risk taker and have more purpose when I speak. I sure as hell didn’t need to listen to anyone that speaks in “executive training” lingo. I learned that I needed to be something different, a different kind of person.
I want to be the controversial person and tell anyone that would ask me what it would take to do better that they shouldn’t be themselves. You should be different. You should strive to be better than most people and not play by the rules.
(This is especially true if you aren’t in the top 15% of anything. Not being popular or the most memorable hurts. It takes gambles and taking risks for those that don’t have warmth and connection).
It isn’t that I hated who I was. The truth was that I learned to love much of what was really inside instead of what I was trying to show. I’m not myself, but I am who what I am supposed to be. I am unapologetic that I’m not like other people, especially some of my biggest detractors.
Mogadishu Matt 
I saw Type o Negative years ago. RIP Peter Steele. I think they played that song.
As for “just be yourself,” sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn’t.
If you’re not good enough for the job (whatever that job is), obviously it doesn’t. If it’s your forte, then it does.
I think it’s always said to a girl to cheer up a male friend in the dumps. Or at least that’s how I’ve heard it directed at me.
Or who knows? I’m kinda braindead right now.
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