The Matters w/ Matt: Not Paid To Care About This

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this Dear Annie article (courtesy of Arcamax) from September 7, 2022:

Dear (Matters):

My older sister, “Susie,” is 33 and has been receiving financial support from my parents for more than a decade. They give her money outright and also pay her car insurance, health insurance and other bills. Susie does not work. She’s in a master’s program, but it is unclear whether she will finish. My mother believes she needs to help Susie, as she has had mental illness issues throughout her adulthood.

I am not upset that Susie is receiving money from my parents. It also doesn’t bother me that I am not likely to receive similar assistance. But I worry that my parents are giving Susie no reason to finish her degree or pursue a job. I consider it enabling.

On several occasions, Susie has maxed out her credit cards, and my mother paid those off. My parents do not have the money to continue doing this. Is it appropriate to speak with them about this?

— A Sister 

Dear A Sister:

I have a wild suggestion that might benefit you and only you. I do not know if you get along well with your parents or if you are dependent on them for anything in your life. I certainly hope not. Your life will be big on difficulties and low on enjoyment.

If you don’t have any large encumbrances, after some natural nostalgic feelings, I would consider not caring at all. I wouldn’t put a stake in receiving inheritance. If you had an itch for one of your family members funding a vacation for you, I would kiss that concept goodbye.

Technically, this isn’t your battle. It is something that you are choosing to worry about. Minus actual crimes, this isn’t worth worrying about. Please consider working on your life and refocus on the things in your life you need to work on.

Your concern may have some validity but you are dealing with adults. Even your mentally ill sister is an adult, but she isn’t committed in an institution. Your parents seem to make decisions that they are happy with.

You can choose to not generate your own worry. Start worrying about things you can control. Your energy can be used for things worth worrying about. Good luck.

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I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at freemattpodcast@gmail.com

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/anniesmailbox/s-2720247