The Matters w/ Matt: Jimmy Fallon Does It Well

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Abby. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this Dear Annie article (courtesy of Arcamax) from August 17, 2022:

Dear (Matters):

It will be a year this August since the passing of my mom from Lewy Body Dementia. At the time of her death, I was overwhelmed, exhausted and tired, besides having to take care of myself, our house, dogs and everything.

I am thinking of writing to those who took the time to send a card upon learning of my mom’s passing. Is it too late? Is it wrong? Should I just not worry about it?

Now I spend time with my 92-year-old dad; in addition to helping with his medical appointments, I am his advocate.

•   —Too Late
• ———————————————————————

Dear Too Late:

I loathed the phrase that it “is never too late to tell someone you love them until it is too late”, until it became true. It often sticks with me and bothers me. I often feel inspired to call people when I need to say something. I often find myself writing a letter or calling them at inopportune moments.

I had forgotten to tell someone thank you for loaning me a video tape, along with returning it. I brought it to their house years later and personally thanked them for loaning it to me for such a long timeframe. He might have laughed, but he knew that I was thankful to have a friend like him.

I had called or sent a letter for people that were there for me when I was in poor spirits while in the military. People were surprised to find a handwritten and illegible note in their mail. It took me years to send it to them or it might have taken what might have been a figurative lifetime to hug them.

It is never too late or stupid to tell someone something like that. It isn’t wrong. It helps people set a great example and communicate what really matters in our lives. Our interactions and lives events are what matters. You are doing the right thing by letting them know.

—————————————————————————————————————————

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at freemattpodcast@gmail.com

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearannie/s-2711991

Change How You Curse At Another Person

I saw a man who was racing to get out of his parking lot and on to another closed access road. He had this perturbed look on his face when he saw me limping along. He had to have known that I wasn’t breaking land speed records. I was waiting for a tongue lashing. I didn’t get it.

I secretly had been pondering what I would have said in response. I had some hilarious sun induced hallucinations, dreaming about throwing a “motherf*cker” or two. Perhaps an old 80’s throwback like “Go Get F*cked”. I ended up laughing as I walked away.

I felt like cussing at this rando was counter productive and not who I am anymore. I don’t like picking a fight where there is no point. I would like to think I had some level of empathy, at least on an understanding level. (I don’t “feel” like I used to and am numb at times). But I don’t want anything shitty to happen to that guy. On the contrary, I think that he could benefit from a dose of “curse or gift”.

A smart man can improve his life with a gift but the same thing could be a curse for a moron.

One of these things is a winning multi-million dollar lottery ticket. The windfall will ruin a moron but it might help someone with a pure heart.

I had jokingly yelled at someone: Go have better sex! I wasn’t sure if the person knew the embrace of another. The person in question seemed to not be able to lower their ego when it came to loving someone else. The threatening voice used spoke louder than the words. I am sure that they thought I was a lunatic.

Of course, I butchered a quote. The “may you live in interesting times” bit was up there. No one had ever said it to me but that is a curse of sorts. The interesting times element applied to my professional life. That is another curse better than most nasty things said.

A dear friend of mine often says “I hope all of your children are born naked and toothless!!”. It is his signature insult. He means no permanent ugliness towards anyone. He would rather listen to music and hang out with you.

I’m not 100% sure of what other sayings I had used but I don’t think that uneven levels of aggression are warranted. I don’t think that being mad is worthwhile over a larger timeframe. Use your curses where they are best enjoyed or fumbled.

FreeMatt In Review: 8-8 to 8-12 (2022)

I am jealous of Planet of The Apes. In the meantime, this is the FreeMatt in Review.

Absurd Thoughts: We Should Give DMT To Known Psychopaths

I share a wild idea; giving DMT to psychopaths. Find out more in this post.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/12/absurd-thoughts-we-should-give-dmt-to-known-psychopaths/

The Matters w/ Matt: Cool Handjob Luke

Crusades have been known to destroy sex lives. Read more in this Matters w/ Matt.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/10/the-matters-w-matt-cool-handjob-luke/

Anti-Gambling Protestants Bet On The Wrong Horse

Your life is a gamble. I attempt to explain this to anti-gambling people around me.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/08/anti-gambling-protestants-bet-on-the-wrong-horse/

I should have a few videos in the pipe and a few being recorded soon.

Absurd Thoughts: We Should Give DMT To Known Psychopaths

I was kind of thrilled to listen to Mike Tyson describe his experience using DMT. His descriptions were neat and it was nice to hear about how someone broke through the (D)rug (A)buse (R)esistance (E)ducation misinformation cycle. It was more about Mike’s brain and less about drugs.

For what I had been told, whether through Mike’s story or through other people’s writing, it sounded like DMT helped certain people. I had heard that DMT helped people break through mental blocks, allowing them to undertake certain things in life, or achieve things that they had been “stopped” from doing. From some quasi reliable sources, I had heard that people with TBIs and PTSD found benefits from DMT.

Using this anecdotal evidence, why don’t we move on to other people that could benefit from a Slapshot-esque mindf*ck of sorts? I think we should give psychopaths DMT. Not as a reward for being a**holes but to see what happens. Could it change their brain functions? Could it “re-wire” their misfires?

I’m no doctor but I don’t see anyone else doing anything, outside of blaming internalized misogyny. I see people imprisoning people that could use help or even just doping them up, then sending them on to start a cycle again.

I’m a bit of a strange dude that would love to see what a wild experiment would do. My ethics are questionable, but so are most governments. (Forcing a social animal into being anti-social, then being surprised when people are upset/suicidal).

I think my idea would do better than a certain vaccine for this problem. (Outside of forcing people at gunpoint to generate empathy and increased emotional intelligence. Yes, this is a joke).

I don’t think the anti-drug forces of the drug war get a say on my idea. They had already lost.

I’m open to your ideas if you have any… email me: freemattpodcast@gmail.com

The Matters w/ Matt: Cool Handjob Luke

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Annie. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this How To Do It article (courtesy of Slate) from July 27, 2022:

Dear (Matters):

On the day Roe v. Wade was overturned, my wife was understandably furious (as was I). She saw a meme that said something to the effect of “no sex with men until all women have access to abortions” and latched onto it.

After about a week without sex, I tried to initiate a discussion. I vote blue and actually do more activism work than her, so she doesn’t have any complaints about me, specifically. Plus, we live in a state where (thankfully) there is currently no threat to abortion rights, so it’s not a matter of worrying about what would happen if she unexpectedly got pregnant.

She agreed… but rather than resuming our sex life, she went public with this strike to try to recruit more people to join in! Now, our sexless marriage has become sort of a joke in our circle of friends.

She says that she was happy with our sex life before, but that this is really important to her, and she feels like she’s doing something in a situation that makes her feel powerless. I sympathize and want women to have access to abortions, too, but I don’t want my sex life to be on hold indefinitely. What should I do?

   –Blue Balls 

Dear Blue Balls:

I once knew a silent man who could not be bothered to respond with words. People would say “hello” as they passed by him, but the silent man said nothing. A woman at a bar would bat her eyelashes, then ask him: “My place or yours?” He wouldn’t say which one. The woman left without him after hearing nothing. The same man became despondent and wouldn’t ask for help. The silent man took his own life by jumping off of a bridge. No one heard a peep and no one ever knew what happened to that silent man.

A joint venture, as in a relationship, requires input from all parties. People have a natural expectation for things to go smoothly and when they hear no negative news, they believe it to be “swimmingly”. We are often inviting errors when we fail to say what is wrong. We will often repeat an action as if it is right, if we have no correcting voice to tell us when something runs afoul.

Your partner thinks that you are supportive of her crusade and knows nothing wrong of what she does. It is up to you to tell her what you want. Her crusade may mean that much to her. Before you talk to her about what the crusade prescribes for everyone, you must ask what your boundaries are. You should know what you want before you speak to her about the future.

I would encourage you to learn to understand the folly of agreeing as a default setting. You may disagree with someone and you owe it to them to not agree to be nice. To be yourself is not to fold for others, but it is to be solid within yourself.

I hope that all works out for you and that you find peace in the future.

—————————————————————————————————————————

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at freemattpodcast@gmail.com

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

Anti-Gambling Protestants Bet On The Wrong Horse

I was in a casino connected to a fairly well known town in *deleted state name* for work. We had already had lunch at what passed as a mall. Our vehicle had fuel to drive around to where we needed to go to and back to what parking lot we needed to waste time in. My co-worker was giddy that we got “stranded” in that place, mostly due to his penchant for blowing money at gambling establishments. I wasn’t as thrilled as first, until I found the sportsbook.

It was early in the day and most sports hadn’t started up. But my favorite gambling “institutes” had races on for the day. I enjoyed mediocre food to eat and the friendly staff who worked diligently for their two patrons. I was able to find a race sheet and a daily guide for two tracks. I wasn’t super fond of throwing around dough for a full spread of races for two tracks, but I settled on one course that day.

I bet on the wrong horses and ended up chewing up less than $20, which went out of my food budget. By the time we were all going to leave, my co-worker blew through short of two thousand dollars. I laughed and he laughed. He enjoys some slots on occasion, along with video poker. All in all, it was a pleasant experience waiting.

Fast forward a few years and a few surgeries, I finally remembered that trip. I bemoan not having a OTB nearby and I certainly wish I had a real casino where I could “play the ponies” in comfort. People always ask me why my locality doesn’t have something like this. The answer is simple:

The people who stop gambling establishments in my state are the “no fun” protestants that ruined most good things. They gave us a stupid alcohol control set up. They make it hard to do business in anything considered “adult”, including mixed use restaurants.

Their puritan attitudes send my money to other states and corporations, who often send other people’s kids to school with the tax windfall.

The protestants make it blatantly known that they hate gambling (vice) and how it encourages “God’s people” (read men) to neglect their families.

But I want those people strung up on the yard arm of their own creation. These assholes gamble everyday.

(1) Life Insurance

They are literally gambling that one of their family members (or themselves) will die at a certain point and someone else is betting against them, using the windfall to invest it. (GAMBLING???)

(2) Auto Insurance

Those mamby pambies are the idiots that pushed our elected officials to require auto insurance for all drivers. But the same idiots don’t understand that insurance is a gamble of sorts. They also gamble that their insurer with honor their contract, which happened in 2011 when storms hit my home state.

(3) Church and Little League raffles

I have gotten nipped for tickets to many raffles in my community. I helped sponsor kids going to conferences and paid for a youth wrestling league. I’m not mad that I didn’t win. I’m mad that they can have their version of gambling and I can’t benefit Three Spires (or whatever companies that deal with my racing).

(4) Picking Squares, workplace football pool

Most of these people have relatives that “pick squares” for football games or have “Pick 3” card pools at work. I know of a few lesser educated people that actually play the university’s math department ran book. But I find it stupid that they won’t let me have my own establishment.

(5) Bad Food, Speed Limits, Car Parts

Statistics. You always have a decent chance of dying in a car crash. When you eat out, you have a floating chance of getting food poisoning or a decent chance that the underpaid person cooking your food went to work sick. You gamble that a refrigeration unit didn’t hiccup at Walmart, if you don’t want to question Walton’s kids, I want to scare you about my NC Walmart store experience. You also gamble that a certain machine shop’s pill head did all of his quality checks during his shift. You also gamble that he didn’t pass one of his parts to make his quota.

(That part may cause a steering failure and maim one of your children. If you don’t believe me, you might want to visit a big customer contract machine shop sometime).

I just want to tug on your non-existent heartstrings the next time you hear those joyless fun killers speak about their opposition to my OTB/casino. They are gambling that I will accept their religious views and I will give them 12;1 odds that I could get them to gamble over it.

FreeMatt In Review: 8-1 to 8-5 (2022)

Shania, I am glad we haven’t made it. In the meantime, this is the FreeMatt in Review.

No One Is Enlightened: The Battle With Space Mutants

Some smart people are dumber than shit and they hurt the human race. Find out more in this post.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/01/6291/

The Matters w/ Matt: We Jacked Up, Man!!!

A couple blames an innocent man for a jump to judgment. Read more in this Matters w/ Matt.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/the-matters-w-matt-we-jacked-up-man/

The Curse of The Long Memory and Short Temper

Star Wars was a program that went out of favor and parts of it came back when memories faded. I look at how short memories and marketing brought back a blast from the past.

https://freemattpodcast.wordpress.com/2022/08/05/the-curse-of-the-long-memory-and-short-temper/

Would you be willing to tell me if I was turning into a Martian?

(Exterminate the whole human race…)

The Curse of The Long Memory and Short Temper

One of the most beautiful things of running into people I knew in the past is that most of them had faint memories of me. They failed to remember poorly placed pranks, bad jokes, and general awkwardness. A few remember good things about me or that they thought I was “friendly”, or at least someone that could be looked upon as a friend. I am thankful for either their short memories or their desire to think the best.

On the inverse, I remember some bizarre stuff from the past. I remember an old friend talking about helping disabled people in therapy, but seeing them years later burned out as a paper jockey attorney, flailing along in their personal lives too. But I also remember some crazy things from the past when it comes to government matters, especially the things that failed or were scrapped even though they had weight behind them.

One of those programs was SDI, called Star Wars by some folks. It had some interesting ideas with the possibility of changing the international landscape militarily, reportedly shifting away from the nuclear minded positions we grew hot on.

SDI wasn’t supported in totality. It had detractors who thought it was mostly high hopes from a technological standpoint. Many of the ideas were thought to have created a catalyst for another arms race. A few people fell back to the anti-militarization positions they had with older ideas. I jokingly said that the SDI was interesting ideas coupled with bad marketing.

If you fast forwarded to modern day, you would recognize that some of those ideas are marketable again. The short memory squad likes the ideas , either fear mongering the ideas into popularity or taking advantage of the “necessity” spouted off by gullible politicians. Their marketing “sell” is easier. (I am unsure if it is a lack of opposition or morons in society that think that all shiny things must be good).

Most people who are old enough to remember SDI don’t recall it or they prefer to hand over money for what ever a politician wants, just so they can return to their stupid reality television shows or professional gridiron football games.

Most of this article stemmed from a history snippet. This day in history, the foul year of our Lord; 1986. The US Senate voted for the SDI project.

(The Great Thompsonian Magnet had enough pull to bring us The Curse of Lono along with the Gonzo Papers during this timeframe).

New Video: Liberals and Conservatives Both Lose In The Courts

In a new, yet much maligned new video, I talk about how we shouldn’t depend on the courts to make us free. By the time it gets to them, it is too late.

The Matters w/ Matt: We Jacked Up, Man!!!

Every Wednesday: I never fail to be disgusted with advice columns. I am unsure why they still get paid to do what they do. As always, I am in awe when it comes to awful examples like Dear Prudence and Dear Annie. The columnists seem to get rewarded for giving you bad advice. I think that people get terrible advice from them. I don’t blame anyone that calls advice column responses garbage. I use my postings to correct these responses and help society by being an utmost asshole, (as always, a hat tip to Aaron Clarey at Asshole Consulting).

Consider this Care and Feeding article (courtesy of Slate) from July 26, 2022:

Dear (Matters):

My daughter “Sue” was married to “Dan” for 6 years before divorcing 1.5 years ago. Sue had been complaining to us about Dan increasingly in the months before the divorce, and perhaps naïvely, we believed her. She said Dan was lazy, inattentive, and spent most nights out drinking with friends. As a result, my husband and I treated him quite coldly and haven’t spoken to him since the divorce occurred. Recently, we’ve learned from a trustworthy source (and confirmed with others) that the reason for Sue and Dan’s divorce was actually Sue’s years-long affair with another man—the very man she “started dating” 4 months after the divorce. We are shocked and disgusted by Sue’s behavior, and given this information are now seriously doubting many of the things she told us about Dan (who is by all accounts except Sue’s a great guy). We both feel awful about how we treated Dan. We made many passive-aggressive and even outright rude comments to him. Looking back, I’m amazed that Dan had the self-control not to blurt out the truth to us! I want to apologize to him, perhaps by sending a letter (we know where he lives in the same town as us). My husband thinks it won’t accomplish anything other than reopening old wounds for Dan. I obviously don’t want to cause him any more pain, so I came here for advice. Should we apologize to Dan for how we treated him, or leave him be?

.

         — Ashamed 

Dear Ashamed:

I often pondered if I should seek out someone I felt that I had wronged in my life. The person that I committed an offense against was someone that ended up being a great person in my life. I had always felt bad, until a friend mentioned that I should ask myself a few questions first.

• Why am I apologizing now?

The friend had asked what purpose did my apology have at this time in history. He had mentioned that time may have healed the wound or at least the distance let me move on.

• Why am I apologizing?

Is the apology for me or for the other person? The man I committed my foul against lived a proper life and was a decent person. I don’t think it would have benefitted him at all. My friend said that I should forgive myself now that I try to live a better life.

•  Can I handle when things don’t go the way I expect?

When I apologize, will the person be mad? What if they don’t have a clue about what I am talking about? The person(s) we are apologizing to happen to be human beings, with their own mental processes and emotions.

I would tell you that it is a novel idea that you want to apologize, but I want for you to ask yourselves the above questions first. If the potential receiver of the apology can possibly benefit from it, I would reach out for an opportunity to speak with them. I wish you all luck in these trying times.

—————————————————————————————————————————

I don’t imagine that I will have a shortage of emails to answer. I would love to start doing this for anyone that sends me an email. If this is you; email us at: freemattpodcast@gmail.com

If you hate advice columns; I don’t blame you. If it isn’t soft people giving advice; it is someone trying to justify acting like an insensitive asshole. Till next week.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/07/reasons-divorce-apology-daughter.html